The Racing Mind

I can't stop thinking about all the things to do and I keep coming up with new things by the hour. I carry a small Moleskin notebook with me at all times to jot down TO DO lists, add items on the TO TAKE list and general thoughts about what's going on.

One of the lists I update often is the list of things I have to take to make life bearable on the other side of the planet. I have a list that I keep updating. It's separated into different areas:

1. clothes
2. toiletries and bathroom stuff
3. electronics and computer stuff
4. everything else

Plus I have to parse those items into three other categories:

1. carry-on bag
2. checked luggage
3. have Nora send once I get on site

I will be packing a case for her to send once I get my address over there. She may add a few things before sending it. I just hope it doesn't cost an arm and a leg. I've been told it will take 7-10 days to ship over there. Not sure about return postage. I need to pack enough clothes for 10 days before I can wash. Somehow I think I will always be dirty once I am there from all the sand and dust.

I am also trying to narrow down the list of pictures and personal items from my family to remind me why I am doing this. This is a tough aspect since I am only allowed 44 lbs. of luggage.

It has been mentally and psychologically exhausting. I am feeling more run-down than usual and my energy level is below average.

I keep thinking about what-ifs and preparations and packing and processing and testing and risks and the kids reactions and Nora's ability to cope without me........ well, she will cope easier around the house since she won't have to pick up after me. Or clean up my messes. I am notorious for leaving clothes around the house spilling things.

But my mind still races, even in my sleep. I feel tired all the time and I am not sure what to do about it (I am getting enough sleep). I wish I could flip a switch and just do the things I need to do and not think about all the other stuff for at least a few minutes.

I guess if I were a heavy drinker, this wouldn't be a problem. Beer anyone?